Lord, God Almighty, I have sinned in heaven and before You and am no longer worthy to be called Your son, below the name of Your glorious name with my sinful lips, because I made himself unworthy of heaven and earth, angering You, good Lord! I am not worthy to ask for forgiveness for myself, Lord, for many times I made a promise to repent - and I became a liar who did not fulfill my promise, many times you have already restored me, but I fell again willingly. I pronounce a sentence on myself and admit that I am worthy of all punishment and torment.
I beg You, Lord, do not turn me away from Your presence and do not depart from me, lest I perish. Now I fall to You, begging: help me, who have strayed from the path of righteousness. Pour out Your bounties on me as on the prodigal son, because I have disgraced my life by wasting the riches of Your goodness. Have mercy on me and do not despise me because of my indecent life. Have mercy on me, like a publican, like a thief: he was rejected by everyone on earth, but You accepted him and made him a resident of the paradise of sweetness.
Graciously accept my prayer for reconciliation with You and, according to Your goodness, grant me life at Your coming; and let the evil one be put to shame when he sees that Your righteousness has had mercy on me. Granting forgiveness, Lord, send strength; Convert me so that I may live according to Your holy will.
How many times have You visited my darkened mind, but again I return to the worst! I am completely in awe, thinking about this, and again the sweetness of sin overcomes me. How can I list all the gifts of Your grace, Lord, which I, pathetic, have received, but have turned and are turning into nothing through my negligence! You have filled me with thousands of gifts, and I, poor one, repay You with what is contrary to You.
But You, Lord, since You have a sea of long-suffering and an abyss of kindness, do not allow me to be whipped like a barren fig tree. Do not delight me, unprepared, do not eat the lamp that has not yet been lit, do not take from here the one who does not have a wedding robe, but, as a good Lover of mankind, have mercy on me, give me time for repentance and before Your terrible, incorruptible throne, do not place my soul naked, like a pathetic disgrace of disgrace.
You, Lord, my Savior, Son of the true God, as You know and as You will, according to Your only goodness, turn me from the sin that abides in me and save me from destruction.
How many times, O Lord Jesus, have You renewed my nature, frivolously corrupted by my sins! There is no number or measure for this! How many times have You taken me out of the cave that was burning inside me, from the cave of many different passions, from the abyss of despondency and despair! How many times have You renewed the corruption of my heart by Your name alone, called upon by me with faith! How many times did he accomplish this through the life-giving Mysteries. Oh, Master! Your mercies towards me, a sinner, truly have no number or measure. What will I bring to You, or what will I repay You for Your immeasurable benefits to me, Jesus, my life and my lightness! May I be prudent in my ways according to Your grace, for You are pleased with all those who are prudent on the way, as You were by Your Spirit through the mouth of our father, David; I will try to be faithful to You, humble, meek, not irritable, kind, long-suffering, hardworking, merciful, generous, uncovetous, obedient.1
Lord, Almighty Power! Strengthen my weak soul in all virtue! Strengthen my weak heart for all good on the immovable rock of Your commandments! God! And I experience every day that without You I am nothing; that without You I cannot do any good; without You there is only evil in me in its various forms; Without You I am a lost son. Oh, indescribable Grace! Fill my heart with Your goodness! Most of all, I pray: grant me to love You with all my heart and my neighbor as I love myself. Let me not be angry, proud, contemptuous, restless, but let me be gentle, humble, respectful with tenderness and obedient.2
In You, Lord, have I trusted, that I may never be ashamed: by Your righteousness deliver me and redeem me. Incline Your ear to me, hasten to take me away: make me a protector in God and a house of refuge, even to save me. For You are my power and my refuge: and for Your name’s sake guide me and nourish me. Deliver me from the net of sowing, and hide me: for thou art my protector, O Lord. In Your hand I will offer my spirit: You, the Lord God of truth, have delivered me. You have hated those who keep vanities in vain: but I have trusted in the Lord. I will rejoice and rejoice in Your mercy, for You have looked upon my humility, You have saved my soul from want and have shut me up in the hands of the enemy, You have placed my extensive noses. Have mercy on me, Lord, as I grieve: my eye, my soul and my womb are troubled by rage. As if my life had vanished in illness, and my years in sighing: my strength was weakened by poverty, and my bones were crushed. From all my enemies there was reproach, and from my neighbors great, and fear from my acquaintances: those who saw me fled from me. He was forgotten as if he were dead from the heart: he was like a destroyed vessel. For I have heard the reproach of many who live around: sometimes they will come together to me, and receive my soul together. And I trust in You, Lord, reh: You are my God. My lots are in Your hand: deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me. Make Thy face shine upon Thy servant: save me by Thy mercy. Lord, let me not be ashamed, as I called Thee: let them be ashamed of wickedness and go down to hell. Let there be mute flattering lips, speaking against the righteous with iniquity, pride and humiliation. Since the great abundance of Your goodness, O Lord, You have hidden from those who fear You, You have made them to trust in You, before the sons of men: You have hidden them in hide the secret of your face from the rebellion of men, covering them with blood from the quarreling of tongues. Blessed is the Lord, for you have surprised your mercy in the city of enclosure. And I said in my frenzy: I am rejected from before Thy sight: for this reason Thou heardest the voice of my prayer, and at some time I cried out to Thee. Love the Lord, all you who are like him: for the Lord seeks the truth and rewards those who are excessively proud. Take courage, and let your heart be strong, all you who trust in the Lord.
Lord, do not reprove me with Your wrath, but punish me with Your wrath: for Your arrows are in me, and You have established Your hand on me. There is no healing in my flesh from the face of Your wrath, there is no peace in my bones from the face of my sins. For my iniquity is greater than my head, for a heavy burden weighs upon me. My wounds have grown stale and rotten, from the face of my madness. I suffered and sloshed to the end, all day long I lamented: for my soul is filled with reproach, and there is no healing in my flesh. I became embittered and became very humble, roaring from the sighing of my heart. Lord, all my desire is before You, and my sighing will not be hidden from You. My heart is troubled, leave me, my strength, and the light of my eyes, and let him not be with me. My friends and my sincere ones are approaching and standing right next to me. And my neighbors are farther away from me, and those who are in need seek my soul: and those who seek evil tell me vain words, and I will learn from the flatterers all day long. But I was deaf and did not hear, and I was deaf and did not open my mouth; and I was like a man who did not hear, neither did I bear reproach in my mouth. As in You, Lord, I trust, You will hear, Lord my God. As if they said: let my enemies never rejoice: and never let my feet move, but your flesh is great. As if I am ready for wounds, and my illness is before me. For I will proclaim my iniquity and take care of my sin. But my enemies live and are strengthened more than me, and those who hate me without righteousness are multiplying: they who repay me with evil bring back good things to me who deceived me, and instead persecute goodness. Do not forsake me, O Lord my God, do not depart from me: attend to my help, O Lord of my salvation.
1 Righteous John of Kronstadt. My life in Christ. Volume 1. 580.
2 Righteous John of Kronstadt. My life in Christ. Volume 1. 617.
3 Synodal translation.
See LIFE, VIRTUE